At GXAus in two weeks I’ll be running a panel entitled Conceptions of Masculinity in Gaming Culture. We’re going to look at that as widely as possible, where all our ideas about masculinity come from, and how that conflicts with actual male-ness, and other kinds of gender identity. We’ve got straight and gay guys, non-binary peeps and even a lady on the panel, but we also want this to be a safe space for guys to talk about the things they’re scared to talk about. Because masculinity teaches men to be poor at socializing and bad at asking for help and terrible at admitting any weakness – and because we’re punished harshly for getting things wrong – we never ask the questions we should be asking. When I was growing up, you had to read Playboy Letters to find the answers. Nowadays, it’s porn sites and asking 4chan…
Of course, nobody’s going to ask these kinds of scary questions in front of an auditorium of strangers, I’ve set up a form you can fill out anonymously. We’ll also take questions during the event. Please don’t abuse this. Only fill it in if you’re coming, and if you have a question – but DO feel free to ask whatever you need. Ask the crazy. Ask the stupid. Ask what people laugh at you about.
I remember when we did this in grade school, one of the questions was “is oral sex illegal?”. We were fourteen. How were we to know? People lie to kids all the time. And it didn’t get better. I was so confused by sex and how I was taught it was bad to lust after women, I convinced myself I was gay for three years. When I finally did have sex with a lady, I had a panic attack (first time), cried (second time) and kicked her out of my house in shame (third time). So believe me, no question is too stupid or too awful or too embarrassing. If you’d like, you can leave an email as well so we can get back to you if you have any big issues or we can’t cover your question on the day.
Anyway. Reach out. Please.