I wrote the first two minutes of a Fantastic Four film

Because I had nothing better to do. Yeah, it assumes the property ties into the MCU. Sue me.

SCENE ONE: INTERIOR. We track in to an auditorium. The audience is journalists, scientists, staid people, but excited, like it’s for NASA. But the stage is like it’s for a rock star. We pan up to ANNOUNCER. Screen behind him shows earth from space.

ANNOUNCER

Space. It was the final frontier. Then the Chitauri came. (show battle of New York) The Asgardians. (Destroyer from Thor) And who knows how many friends they have. Space used to feel like a kiddie pool we were exploring as humanity found its feet. Now – now we’ve been dropped in the deep end. And our attempts so far to find lifeguards – they have not been successful. (Civil War shots)

But that’s all about to change. Ladies and gentlemen of the science community, of the press, you’ve all been wondering what we’ve been building here these last two years. In a joint operation with five sovereign nations, the US is about to put humanity back into the space race. To catch us up with the big kids, and start swimming in the deep end.

(screen shows a super sweet rocket) This is the new Excelsior starship, although I’m told the boys at the launch pad call it the Pocket Rocket, because the engine is just that small. What you’re seeing is it shooting into high earth orbit and back again in real time, using the radical new EM pulse drive.

PULL IN on the ANNOUNCER

ANNOUNCER (cont)

But to me, that’s not the exciting part. Rockets, sure, they take us places. They’re big, they’re fast, they’re shiny. But give me Neil Armstrong over the Apollo, right? Christopher Columbus over the Santa Maria. Exploration is about people, not ships. People. So what I’m really here to do today, ladies and gentlemen, is to introduce you to the crew of the Excelsior. The new breed of American astronauts. Of American HEROES.

MUSIC CUE: building importance

ANNOUNCER (cont)

A lot of people don’t like what I do. They think it’s cheap. That it cheapens science, and the work that these great scientists too. But those same people have the same lament. They lament that we don’t value science. And instead, well, we value pro-athletes (slide shows someone like Michael Vick), rock stars (someone like Kanye)… superheroes (slide shows Tony Stark).

I say, let’s start turning that around. Feminism mattered when Beyonce stood next to it. Race mattered when Colin Kaepernick didn’t stand for it. I say, let’s make our scientists into our athletes – our rock stars – our superheroes. (slide shows Fantastic Four symbol).

MUSIC CUE: DRAMATIC

ANNOUNCER: (cont)

So with that in mind, ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to your new science heroes. Your new generation of space men and women. Let’s start with…

(video plays of JOHNNY, MUSIC CUE EXCITEMENT)

Jonathon Storm. Yes ladies, that is his real name. (montage of JOHNNY plays) Child prodigy. Daredevil. But most importantly, the greatest engineering mind of this century, the new Henry Ford, the man who build the near-light EM engines that can take us to space in less fuel than it takes to fly cross-country. Ladies and gentlemen, please, let me hear you cheer like you would for Led Zeppelin when I say the name…

(pan up to reveal JOHNNY in shadow on the platform. He’s all white teeth and youthful charm. Like Chuck Yeager meets Flash Gordon.)

ANNOUNCER: (cont)

JOHNNNNNNNNY STORM!

Cut to a studio production booth. A producer leans forward to the mike)

 

PRODUCER:

Flame on.

Jets of flame shoot up around JOHNNY. He waves, dances a bit. He likes the attention. The audience is shocked, then claps, starting to give into the energy despite themselves.

 

ANNOUNCER:

And let’s not forget his twin sister. After all there’s no point flying near the speed of light if you can’t see where you’re going. Enter Doctor Susan Storm. (Sue’s motage plays) The youngest woman ever to win a Nobel Prize for Physics for her work on quantum entanglement, she has just revolutionized all thought on how we see the universe itself with her work on the teleportation of light itself. And she’s an expert gymnast and martial artists as well (cut to her in a leotard, obviously to appeal)

 

CLOSE UP ON SUE. She’s as good looking as Johnny but she pushes that back because she’s had to.

SUE:

(through gritted smile) Go fuck yourself.

 

ANNOUNCER:

Go absolutely crazy for the lady of light, the venus of vision, SUE STORM

 

SUE smiles grudgingly at the crowd. She wishes she were invisible.

 

ANNOUNCER:

And now, ladies and gentlemen. It’s time for the nine-hundred pound gorilla of intellect. The man with eleven PhDs and forty eight patents. (montage of Reed shows him moving nanobots with his mind, and shaking hands with a man in a hospital bed with a bandaged face). A master of physics, chemistry, electronic engineering and nanotechnology who build a ship that can not only run itself but rebuild itself, the new Albert Einstein, the new Thomas Edison, the name that will reinvent the twenty first century, the tall drink of water they call…

CUT TO REED. He has his eyes closed. He’s composed, but enjoying it.

 

ANNOUNCER:

REEEED RICHARDS.

REED steps into the spotlight. He is old-world academic, almost avuncular which sits oddly on a twenty-something.

ANNOUNCER:

I saved the best for last, ladies and gentlemen – and especially ladies. This man was your hero long before today, of course. Born with nothing on the wrong side of the tracks, he put himself through college on a football scholarship – and then led the New York Jets to three Superbowls – and then go on to win an Olympic bronze medal in wrestling. He’s the king of the Wheaties box, the hero of the sports pages, and yes ladies, he’s single. On the field he was so fearsome they used to call him “The Thing with the Swing”, and “Old Blue Eyes” but you know him as BEN “THE ANIMAL” GRIMM!

CLOSE UP OF BEN. He blinks in the light and puts on shades. He’s built like the proverbial brick shithouse, but he’s unassuming, gentle.

BEN:

(archly) What a revoltin’ development.

BEN walks up onto stage. The others now free to move, walk to the center. By now, the audience can’t stop themselves. These guys are likeable, and the music and pyrotechnics is infectious.

ANNOUNCER:

Ladies and Gentlemen, your FANTASTIC FOUR!

The four wave at the audience. Music grows louder. Flashing lights more intense, blinding. Sudden smash cut carries sound and light cues over to crashing into military ER. The four are on guerneys. Burned black. Doctors rush. Something BAD happened between the cut.

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